The Letter

Dear Reefy, 

It was my birthday yesterday and I turned a whopping 38 haha.  So damn old now :)  I was so stoked to speak to you in the afternoon. You sounded so cute.  I adore you buddy.  I miss you. I love you. 

Life up here in Sydney is going well,  about 4 months ago I met a really lovely girl called Kate.  She has really been for me a revelation.  Jesse is good with her, yet sometimes very cheeky as he always will be I suppose.  I am sure you have a cheeky streak like him and .... mmmmm me too. 

I suppose I am telling you this Reefy, because I got a letter from your Mum the other day. I had not been able to get in contact with you for the last 5 weeks, and after a few emails got this letter in the post.  It was letter talking about how she wanted to make a go of our marriage again, that she still loved me and wanted to be with me.  This is almost 2 years after you had been moved down to Melbourne. 

I can hear your questions as you grow into a great man.  Why didn't you want to get back together with Mum, Dad ?   That is not the easiest question to answer, and all I can do is answer from my heart.  I don't know why some relationships work and some don't.  When your Mum and I had you buddy,  we loved each other.   Due to circumstances not related to you at all, things were very hard.  Both of us, dealt with these tough times differently. Your mum moved you down to Melbourne, where I fought with my heart and soul to see you, although rarely successfully.   

This constant disappointment and effectively shutting out my role as your Dad, broke my heart to pieces.  I fell out of love with your Mum very rapidly, and my over riding emotion was frustration and anger.  There were many times, when it was said you were coming back to Sydney and non ever eventuated. I hope I am not being to blunt here. I just feel you really deserve to know.  I lost all trust in your Mum.  

Your mum is a great lady, and she loves you very very much.  She has a big heart and I would never want you to think less of her, because of me. 

As we grow together I hope with all my heart and soul that you will see me as a Dad that absolutely adores you.  I want to be there for you in all things buddy.   All my love, Dad xxxxooooo